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Trippy Traveller

Brazilian Prices Part Three

February 8th 2010 09:03
Roinha Favela, Rio de Janeiro
Roinha Favela, Rio de Janeiro


Here's the final installment of Brazilian prices. In this section we were hugely disappointed with Rio de Janeiro and slightly disappointed with the world famous Pantanal. We stayed next to Copacabana beach in Rio. The hostel was toss. Che largo charged the most of all the hostels we stayed in in South America. Granted it was in a swanky area (with homeless people sleeping on cardboard on the street just outside) but for a simple dorm bunk bed it was still overpriced at a whopping $24 per person. It must have been standard for the area because Israelis were staying there. What made it objectionable was that the place was infested with bedbugs. We were bitten to buggery. And what did they do in reaction to our complaints? They moved us to another smaller dorm which also had bedbugs.


The city itself was interesting. An amazing beach for a city. Lots of colonial architecture and some good shopping.

I did my research about Pantanal tours in Rio and so when we arrived we booked up straight away at the youth hostel next to the bus terminal. It was a bargain price with a night in the hostel thrown in. The genius thing about the whole transaction was that the agent also hooked us with a lump of gear to enjoy on the tour. The Pantanal itself was wilderness - dense in mosquitos and birds - but also one huge farm. That I wasn't expecting. The farmers are slowly clearing the forest and destroying the habitats of the wild animals. We saw lots of caiman and capybara. We saw a tucan and other colourful birds and caught a fleeting glimpse of a howler monkey. We went fishing and caught piranha and catfish. But we didn't see any tapirs, anteaters, coatis, boas, jaguars or peccaries. I know you shouldn't expect to see everything, but I couldn't help feeling that human encroachment had been taking its toil on the wildlife numbers.


On the second day we went for a walk. The guide failed to mention it would take an hour. Nobody in our group brought any water for the walk. A Dutch couple were left behind. They were flaking out in the heat. Our guide didn't seem to care. Another traveller had a go at him and he reacted very poorly. They called themselves 'Ecological Expeditions'. I wasn't happy when he started handling baby caiman to get a reaction from the mother. Not so eco.

Anyway, as always our budget is $60 a day between two people. If you have been following this blog then you will know that we had been managing fine with this budget until we encountered Brazil. Until Brazil we were under budget for the entire trip. Brazil put us in the red. Running totals are included at the end.

24/10/09

On bus to Rio de Janeiro

Bus from Trancoso to Arraial d`Ajuda (6.50 per person) = 13
Donuts = 1
Water = 2
Free ferry across river
Bus from Arraial d`Ajuda to Porto Seguro (2.90 per person) = 5.80
After getting off the ferry we had no idea where to go, so we just followed some people with bags. After several twists and turns we found ourselves at a side street with a bus stand. The others waiting there reassured us that it was the right stand to catch a bus to Porto Seguro bus terminal. And indeed it was.
Toilet visits = 2.2
Snacks and drinks at bus stand = 14
Dinner = 25
Bus from Porto Seguro to Rio de Janeiro (176 per person) = 352

Total = 409.2 (315.2 over budget)

Copacabana beach
Copacabana beach


25/10/09

Rio de Janeiro

Taxi from bus terminal to Copacabana = 30
Shopping = 25
Che Largo Backpackers Copacabana (38 per person) = 76
This was a really expensive hostel that was shit. We got bitten badly by bedbugs and instead of a refund they moved us to another dorm where we continued to get bitten. Copacabana beach was mugging central after nightfall. All in all very disappointing.

Total = 131 (37 over budget)

26/10/09

Rio de Janeiro

Changed $500 @ 1.60 per $1
Metro (2.80 per person) = 5.60
Lunch = 15.60
Camera film = 6.50
Metro = 5.60
Flip flops (presents) = 38
Mosquito repellent = 7.50
Toothbrush = 2
Che Largo Hostel (33 per person) = 66

Total = 146.8 (50.8 over budget)

Cristo Redentor in Rio
Cristo Redentor in Rio


27/10/09

On bus to Campo Grande

Bus from Copacabana to bus terminal (2.70 per person) = 5.40
Bus from Rio de Janeiro to Campo Grande (250 per person) = 500
Dinner = 7

Total = 512.4 (416.4 over budget)

28/10/09

Campo Grande

4 packs of fags = 12
4 day tour of the Pantanal plus free night in hostel (315 per person) = 630
Shopping = 22
Gear = 35
The dude that sold us the tour hooked us up.
3 packs of fags = 9

Total = 708 (612 over budget)

caiman in the Pantanal
caiman in the Pantanal


29/10/09

Pantanal

Sausage rolls = 4
Drink = 6
Limes, mosquito coils, washing soap & drink = 15.30

Total = 25.30 (70.7 under budget)

30/10/09

Pantanal

2 drinks = 6
Beer = 3

Total = 9 (87 under budget)

capybara
capybara


31/10/09

Pantanal

Nothing

Total = 0 (96 under budget)

01/11/09

On bus to Foz Iguazu

Tip to guides = 20
Drinks = 18
Bus from Campo Grande to Foz Iguazu (145 per person) = 290
Dinner = 16
Fags and lighter = 9
Tampax = 5

Total = 358 (262 over budget)

Running Totals

Argentina $1,079, Bolivia $1,016, Peru $1,904, Equador $594.15, Colombia $1,000, Venezuela $1,039 and Brazil $4,415

Total Spent = $11,047 US Dollars

Total Budget = $9,300

Total Difference = $1,747

So pushing on 2 grand over budget by the time we left Brazil. Still, an incredible country. For more information about Brazil check out Brazil-istics Part One

fishing in the Pantanal
fishing in the Pantanal
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Bangkok Pulp Fiction Part One

February 3rd 2010 07:17
Samuel L Jackson
Bangkok Pulp Fiction


Rory was 21 and from Ireland. He had only two weeks left of his holiday before he had to use his return ticket to fly back to Dublin from Suvarnabhumi airport in Bangkok. Like many before him, he thought about how best he could use his available time and money. He pondered on what would benefit him for resuming his life back in Ireland. Bangkok was a shopping heaven. Everything was cheap, copyrighting laws had never been heard of and anything could be made to look like their expensive counterparts back home.

Over a lunch of chao mein swimming in grease he thought about his future. He had finished college nearly a year ago and had headed off to see America, Australia and South East Asia. Now all he had to his name was a few travellers’ cheques, a credit card bill to pay and a room back in his parent’s place in Port M. Ireland’s economy was in a woeful state. The country was reeling from staggering cuts to the public sector. He needed a job and quickly when he got back to pay off his credit card and move out of his parents’ house. He wanted to live with his mates in good old Dublin.

And then he had a brain storm. Why not buy a suit? There were plenty of tailors in Sukhimvit near where he was staying. They offered a new tailored suit with shirts for only 60 Euros. This seemed like a smashing idea to Rory. It would give him a head start on the search for employment. To his way of thinking it would no doubt give him the edge over the hundreds of other applicants he was bound to encounter in corporate reception areas.

Sukhimvit Road in Bangkok
Sukhimvit Road in Bangkok


So he strolled around the side streets off Sukhimvit and within 5 minutes he had been accosted by a really friendly chap from Nepal. He just couldn’t be friendlier and after a cold drink and a chat Rory was committed to buying a suit, a belt and 3 shirts for 80 Euros. He carefully studied the materials and styles and after a moment of inspiration settled on a green woolen single breasted suit. It was going to be the dogs. Sunneill the tailor took his measurements and a 20 Euros retainer and promised to work like the clappers to get the suit done in time.

After only two days the suit was ready for a first try on. It seemed a bit baggy in the arse and a bit long in the sleeve. From the pictures he had been shown, Rory had imagined less of a violent green. Sunneill allayed Rory’s concerns by explaining that this was only the first try on. It was always like this. A great suit came together at the last moment. Perfection was in the smallest tweaks. He would get his team to adjust the suit pants and jacket and naturally the wool dye hadn’t cured properly yet. When it did the suit would be of the subtlest and most desirable green.

Not without some doubts, Rory exited the tailor shop and went off for a day trip to Kanchanaburi to ride an elephant, go on a raft and see a fake bridge over the river Kwai.

Bridge Over the River Kwai
Bridge Over the River Kwai


Two days later Rory marched into Sunneill’s shop. He struck his chin out defiantly and was prepared to either celebrate getting a great new suit or to set about complaining and demanding his 20 Euros back if the suit hadn’t been altered to his satisfaction. He was determined to reject the suit if the arms and legs were not of the correct lengths, and if he green colour of the suit in question hadn’t been muted by ‘curing’ to the hue he had thought so wonderful when he was flicking through the pictures of Savile Row styles.

On entering the shop Sunneill accosted Rory in a state of blissful supplication. Oh master’s suit was his masterpiece. He would make big stir in European business community with such a power suit and first he must meet Sunneill’s new wife. Rory had no time to harden his posture of displeasure because before he could set his features into a menacing frown he was thrust before a beautiful Thai woman. She was a wee thing of only 5 feet and a wee bit. She had wide set almond eyes that shone brightly at Rory. Her hair was a black silken waterfall that fell over her shoulders. She wore a tight traditional Thai costume that hugged the graceful curves of her body. She smiled at Rory as she was introduced and put her palms together in the Wa position and bowed her head in the sweetest submission as she said “Sawadee –ka”. Rory was all smiles and blushes.

Patcharapa Chaichuea
Melee


For the next 20 minutes Sunneill talked incessantly in a fury of joy. He was so pleased with Rory’s suit; he was so delighted Rory could meet Melee, his so-so wife. He was just ecstatic with life. He insisted they go have lunch at a nearby Nepalese restaurant he knew. His cousin worked in the kitchen. They served the most authentic and tasty Nepalese food in Bangkok. How could Rory refuse, especially since Sunneill had promised that the meal was to be his treat.

Throughout the meal Melee held Rory’s attention. She was shy and yet she held his eye contact for what seemed eternities as she brokenly asked him about his family and his life back in Ireland. Sunneill encouraged the two to ‘get along’ while he ranted about his imminent rise in the tailor world. How he had already made suits for B-list celebs but was now ready for the A-list. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise would surely soon be aware of his excellent tailoring and no doubt be super keen to get in their private jets and come to the obscure side road in Sukhimvit where his shop was located for a ‘magnificent fitting’. He postulated that they too would want a green woolen suit like Rory’s because, “Rory, my good friend Rory, your suit is my masterpiece”. Rory wasn’t listening; he was transfixed as Melee ate some strange fruit that made her full lips glisten.

Eventually they went back to the shop. Rory dodged this way and that to avoid the flow of people. Melee glided back, eyes down. Sunneill chatted voluminously about his future chain of discount suit shops in California manned by his legion of brothers and cousins.

George Bush Senior getting a suit in Bangkok
shortly after getting a suit made in Bangkok George Bush Senior lost the election to Clinton


The three of them entered ‘Best European Fashion Suit’ and Melee disappeared somewhere into the depths of the back of the shop. Sunneill had a sly twinkle in his eye and asked if Rory cared for a good luck chillum.

“Uh yeah, why not.”

So Rory was whisked into a tiny store room full of boxes stacked against the walls. They sat on big cushions around a low table. Sunneill pulled out a lump of hash from his pocket and started breaking it up in his hand. He shouted out brusquely in some language Rory didn’t understand.

As he entered the final stages of packing the pipe that looked like a tapered phallus a young boy with a dirty white shirt and greasy black slacks arrived carrying a tray. He put the tray on the table and poured a milky substance from a great height from a big silver teapot into 2 small chipped glasses and then withdrew silently. Sunneill ignored him. Instead he was holding a lighted match over the pipe and sucking furiously. Clouds of thick white smoke billowed around Sunneill’s head as he got the chillum fired up. He then passed it to Rory.

Cloud of chillum smoke
Cloud of chillum smoke


Rory took a gentle suck and immediately the profuse and hot smoke made him cough. Sunneill smiled benignly as he took the chillum back and drew heartily. And so it went back and forth. Before he knew it Rory was stoned like he had never been before. Sure he had had joints with his mates back in Dublin and had got pleasantly mellow and loose tongued, but this stuff, even with his spluttering poor attempts on the pipe, had taken him to a new level entirely. The walls were closing in, the cardboard boxes held worlds in worlds of details as they pulsed like they had heart beats. Sunneill’s implacable face shone with quiet wisdom. Though he was sitting on the floor, Rory felt he was in danger of falling down. He clutched at the cushion as sweat dribbled off his nose.

The silence was pierced by the noise of a dog barking off in the distance. Sunneill suddenly came out of his reverie and clapped his hands loudly.

Melee entered from the door leading to the shop carrying a suit in a plastic protective bag. She helped Rory to his feet and helped him undress. Rory swayed slightly and would have been embarrassed if he wasn’t so preternaturally stoned. He caught himself leaving his body and studying himself in his white Calvin Klein’s and T-shirt.

Not knowing what to expect next, he was handed a white shirt by Sunneill. He now grasped what was happening to him. He was going to try on the fabled new green woolen suit. He stumbled back and forth as he went on one leg to put on the suit trousers. They seemed different to the pair he had tried on a couple of days back. Now they were tight around the arse and snug in the groin. The trouser ends were flared, flapping and hanging in folds at the floor. Melee helped him put on a green silk tie and then the suit jacket. The sleeves finished just before his wrist joint. His feet were slipped expertly into a pair of shinny black lace less shoes. And so he was dressed. Melee withdrew again through a different door into the nether regions behind the shop. Sunneill beamed with satisfaction and lead Rory into the shop and stopped in front of a full length mirror.

Rory couldn’t be sure but the curing process seemed to have made the green a lighter more luminous colour, the colour of fluorescent snot. The fit was a masterpiece of too tight and too baggy, too short and too long. The trousers dragged on the ground as he walked past the mirror to check his profile. He wanted to complain but he was struggling to stand up. Sunneill kindly explained that the suit was perfect. The curing had never in his experience been known to have come out so well. The cut was the latest Savile Row rage. Rory-ji might not fully appreciate it now, but once he had worn the suit on a few occasions and had it dry cleaned he would understand just how devastatingly perfect the suit was. No where would a better cut jib be found.

And because Sunneill was in such a good mood he would sell Rory some of his hash for a bargain price and throw in the shoes and tie for free.

Rory signed a travellers’ cheque for 100 Euros and left the shop clutching a hanger with his suit and two bags holding his shirts, belt, shoes and tie. In the green suit jacket pocket was the sticky lump of hash he hadn’t really wanted. The silent boy who had served tea walked sedately next to him to make sure he got back to his hotel safely.

At the entrance to the Sawadee Welcome Hotel the boy stopped and turned to face Rory. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to Rory and then vanished into the passing throng of humanity.

Rory made a supreme effort to appear normal as he asked the man on reception for the key to his room. He walked in what he hoped was a straight line to the elevator. Minutes later he was lying in his underpants, splayed out on his bed, dribbling and sleeping a dreamless sleep.

Green Suit
Green Suit


Images:
1) Bridge Over the River Kwai from Wikipedia.org
2) Samuel L Jackson from www.thesahara.info
3) Green Suit from www.offbeatbride.com
4) George Bush Senior really did buy a Bangkok suit read about it at www.suniltheguy.blogspot.com

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Brazilian Prices Part Two

January 26th 2010 02:15
big fish in Trancoso
big fish in Trancoso


Brazil, a world unto itself. We were in awe of the distances involved. We spent nights and nights on buses, bleeding money and still we only seemed to make it a few inches on the map. In this installment we make great in-roads into our journey thanks partly to an airplane journey from Natal to Salvador. This was forced on us by a nasty story we heard (read below).

As always, the budget is $60 between two people. A budget that was more than adequate for the rest of South America, but in Brazil, far from satisfactory. In Brazilian Prices Part One we went over over budget for the trip for the first time. In this installment it only gets worse. I change the daily budgets in line with the shifting exchange rates. The Real was just too damned expensive. Anyway here's what we did and what we spent. Running totals are at the end of the post.

11/10/09

Natal

2 coffees = 1
Fags = 6
Lunch = 24
Hotel Cidade do Sol = 22
This cheap double room was in a ‘hotel’ opposite the bus station. We arrived at night and planned to head off the next day so it seemed a waste of time to go into town and find an expensive hostel. It was in a noisy area next to a bar. Fat prostitutes hung around in the entrance. All night loud music and shouting could be heard. The paper thin walls of the small room were blood stained. We got stoned and bared it. So much for Hotel City of the Sun.
Dinner = 6.90
2 cokes = 4

Total = 63.9 (43.1 under budget)

12/10/10

Praia da Pipa

3 packs of fags = 9
Breakfast = 8.80
Soap = 1
Bus from Natal to Praia da Pipa (10 per person) = 20
Bus terminal tax (3.30 per person) = 6.60
Camping Maringues for 3 nights (25 per night) = 75
Lunch = 15.50
Supermarket = 21
Dinner = 10
Mosquito coils = 2.10

Total = 169 (62 over budget)

Praia da Pipa
Praia da Pipa


13/10/09

Praia da Pipa

This was the day we swam with dolphins. A highlight of the holiday. Pipa, as the locals call it, is a magical place.

Bread eggs from supermarket = 3.80
Lunch = 12
Internet = 6
Supermarket = 9
Dinner = 12

Total = 42.8 (64.2 under budget)

14/10/09

Praia da Pipa

Breakfast = 3.8
Drink = 3
Lunch = 16
Ice cream = 2.50
2 plane tickets from Natal to Salvador plus commission = 692
We spent big money buying plane tickets from a very helpful travel agent because of a story we heard from another couple staying at the campsite. The bus between Natal and Salvador they were on was held up by two men with guns. They threatened to kill anyone who tried to keep back any cash. The woman was Swedish but the man searching her was not the psychotic one and with her hood up and a Brazilian boyfriend they didn't notice she wasn't Brazilian. On speaking to the driver after they had left, they were told that that route was held up ten or so times a month. The driver they spoke to had personally suffered 5 hold ups. Right there is the problem with Brazil – appalling security and rampant violent crime.
Bar = 9

Total = 726.3 (619.3 over budget)

15/10/09

Natal Airport

Breakfast and fags = 4.80
Bread = 0.30
Supermarket = 5.60
Vegetables = 1.50
Dinner = 13
Bus from Praia da Pipa to Natal Airport (15 per person) = 30

Total = 55.2 (51.8 under budget)

16/10/09

Salvador

Bus from Salvador airport to centre of Salvador (4 per person) = 8
Pousada = 50
Lunch = 10.50
Dinner = 25
Gear = 20
Water and beer = 7
Papers = 3
Necklace = 4
2 caipirinhas in a bar = 13.50

Total = 141 (34 over budget)

17/10/09

Salvador

Pousada dos Sonalos = 50
We moved pousada because in the last pousada they promised to include breakfast in the price. When we went down for breakfast in the morning we saw an older European couple tucking into bread, eggs and fruit. I quickly got into a temper when the woman working there told me she had made a mistake and breakfast wasn't included. The European lady started to translate for us but when I asked her to ask the woman why our breakfast was suddenly not free she got stroppy with me for taking an angry tone. I bit my tongue and left and quickly found another pousada for the same price just down the road. Stupid bitch foreigner. She did us a favour because while checking into the new place I met a dodgy geezer in reception who went to score a proper bag of weed for me. This was done in front of the owner of the pousada. I pointed out to him the sign on the wall saying drugs were prohibited and he just laughed.

Gear = 60
In a typical Salvador fashion he skanked me for an extra 10 reals by selling the weight in 2 bags. Obviously the 10 bag was taken from the original 50 bag. Still I didn`t have to leave the hostel for the score, so worth it for the convenience.

Lunch = 16
We ate every meal in the same restaurant because the rest were too expensive. Again very Salvador.

Water and beer = 16
Entry fees for Igreja Sao Francisco and the next door freemasons place = 12
Incredible church covered in gold. The funny little gay chap showing us around tried to sting us for big money at the end of his impromptu tour. Fuck him I gave him 10 reals. The guards at the door were impressed by our hardness. Again very Salvador.
Tip for guide = 10
Changed $500 Travellers’ Cheques for the very shit rate of 1.56 per $. Just so Salvador.
Internet = 6
Total = 170 (76 over budget)

the Pelo in Salvador
the Pelo in Salvador


18/10/09

Itacare

Elevator to bus stop (0.20 per person) = 0.40
Bus from centre to bus terminal (2.25 per person) = 4.50
A nice local lady saw us anxiously waiting by the side of the road for a bus. She asked in good English where we were trying to get to and suggested an alternative bus to the rodovaria (terminal), which worked out fine. Very Brazilian.

Bus from Salvadore to Itacare (66 per person) = 132
Soap, mosquito coils, fags and 51 = 20
Lunch = 15
Water and coke = 5.45
Taxi to Camping Pop = 7.50
Camping Pop (10 per person) = 20
Water & Kuat = 6

Total = 210.85 (116.85 over budget)

19/10/09

Itacare

Camping Pop = 20
Breakfast = 7
Drinks = 5.50
Supermarket = 24
Bread = 3

Total = 59.5 (34.5 under budget)

20/10/09

Itacare

Camping Pop = 20
Breakfast = 10
Bus tickets from Itacare to Porto Seguro (44.10 per person) = 88.20
Supermarket = 22
Supermarket = 14

Total = 154.2 (60.2 over budget)

Itacare
Itacare


21/10/09

Trancoso

Another amazing Brazilian beach.

Breakfast = 6.80
Lunch = 18.20
Drinks and snacks = 12
Bus from Porto Seguro to Trancoso (9.50 per person) = 19
Toilet paper = 0.70
Gear = 20
Dinner & Kuat = 11.90
Pousada = 30
This pousada didn't appear to have a name. It was on the main road between the town plaza and the Quad. Nice people.

Total = 118.6 (24.6 over budget)

22/10/09

Trancoso

Breakfast = 6
Supermarket = 12.80
Water = 3
Lunch (2 prato feito) = 14
Bread = 1
Big water = 5.60
Fags = 6
Very basic manual wind on film camera = 20
Pousada = 30
Plug = 0.40
Internet and phone call to Japan = 15

Total = 113.8 (19.8 over budget)

23/10/09

Trancoso

Pousada = 30
Drinks on beach = 5
Pastry on beach = 2
PFs and water = 15.30
Supermarket = 11
Bread, fags and sweet = 7.50

Total = 70.8 (23.2 under budget)

Running Totals

Argentina $1,079, Bolivia $1,016, Peru $1,904, Equador $594.15, Colombia $1,000, Venezuela $1,039 and Brazil $2,970

Total Spent $9,602 US Dollars

Total Budget = $8,760

Total Difference = $842

So nearly a grand over budget, but we did visit 3 beautiful beaches in this part of the trip. We swam in a bay with dolphins. We got ripped off in Salvador and we met some fantastic locals. Priceless, especially since we were partly surviving on my credit card.
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Brazilian Prices Part One

January 20th 2010 03:30
Colonial building in Manuas. Just a facade.
Colonial building in Manuas. Just a facade


So after making it up the East coast from Argentina to Colombia and then making it West from Colombia to Venezuela we eventually started heading South and into Brazil. Brazil was very different to Spanish speaking South America. Not only did they speak some bizarre gypsy version of Spanish but they also thought, acted and dressed differently, especially in the north. Sadly, we found Brazil very expensive, as we had been warned. The accommodation and food was more, but the real budget killer were the incredibly expensive bus journeys. Flights to Sao Paulo and Rio were resonable but we didn`t want to miss out on one of the best parts of the continent


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Man Down in China

January 8th 2010 12:38
Transvestite teachers in China
Transvestite teachers in China


A small concrete room in a dilapidated hospital, the bare concrete walls stained a nasty scatological brown, discarded plastic wrapping in the corner, a single dull bulb swaying from the ceiling. Had I reached hell? I flapped around on the yellow sheets of the rickety metal frame bed as four Chinese hospital workers leaned over me, trying to keep me still. One of them wielded a syringe with a long needle. My translator and best friend in the People`s Republic, Pi Wen Wei, calmly listened to me as I frantically implored him to stop them injecting me. I was having a massive attack of heart palpitations that had been pounding away in my chest for nearly two hours. It had never happened before. The fear and shock of my body`s malfunctioning was scaring the shit out of me, but what was worse was the fear of what the unknown substance was that was about to hit my bloodstream, plus the paranoia that the needle was laced with the HIV virus. Things were desperate; I was on the verge of going out of my mind. Just then a higher power interceded on my behalf or perhaps my body knew now was the time to come to its own rescue. Anyway, my heart suddenly caught its proper rhythm and slowed down. A wave of calmness swept like a cool breeze through my body. I was alright; the Chinese medics at Number One Hospital in Yueyang City in Hunan Province stopped pinning me to the bed and backed a step away. The suspect needle was lowered and I breathed freely


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Venezuelan Prices

December 21st 2009 22:01
Angel Falls in Venezuela
The Angel Falls in Venezuela


Venezuela, birthplace of the revolutionary hero of all of South America, Simon Bolivar should be a fantastic place to visit. The country has a Caribbean coastline, islands set in an emerald sea, it has the world`s tallest waterfall, it has tabletop mountains that inspired Jules Verne to write The Lost World, it has the largest reserves of oil in South America; and yet it was not a place we were really keen to visit. While in Colombia we`d heard countless tales from fellow travelers about how dangerous Caracas was, about how unfriendly the people were, and about how expensive the place was. And yet we needed to go there because Venezuela has the only road into the heart of the Amazon, Manaus in Brazil. This was our planned route and despite reservations we were going to stick to it


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Shit Stories

December 14th 2009 18:06
Boy from Slumdog Millionaire covered in shit
Boy from Slumdog Millionaire covered in shit


For many people around the world 2009 was a truly shit year. And so for my Christmas blog I thought I`d deal with the fascinating topic of shit and relate some of my own shit stories. Shit is amazing. First off, it`s so important it has its own academic discipline, scatology or coprology. Secondly, Freud saw a profound connection between shit, humour and wealth (hence the common phrases “rolling in it” and “filthy rich”). Freud also analyzed (pun intended) Balkan folklore and decided that if you dream of gold, you really want a shit. And this all had to do with sublimation of anal eroticism and Bulgarians being famous sodomists. Thirdly, shit provokes a marvelous response, it disgusts and it delights. Butt mustard, ass cakes, anus paste, brown sauce, black pudding, Tony Blair, Hershey squirts, chocolate fudge, man.ure united, number two, tubular stinks, anal seepage, your mother, faecesbook.com are all hilarious when dropped casually into everyday conversation. South Park got it completely right with Mr. Hinkey, the Christmas poo. Shit is funny; and so for your delectation and delight this shitty year I`m going to tell a few shit stories. Please feel free to squeeze out your own scat tales in the comment box below. It will be cathartic for you and funny for everyone else. After all a good shit story is the shit


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Colombian Prices

December 4th 2009 00:36
Playa Blanca near Cartagena, Colombia
Playa Blanca, near Cartagena


Like most people who have never been to South America I was under the impression that Colombia was one of, if not the most, dangerous country in the entire continent. Colombia has that winning combination of left win paramiltiaries living in the jungle and right wing paramilteries living in the jungle and government soldiers trying to bomb the shit out of the junlges. Combine that rep with the likes of Pablo Escobar and the enoromous coke trade and you have a PR problem. However, oddly enough present day Colombia is a generally safe country to visit and the rewards for doing so are great: the people are friendly, cities like Medellin and Cartegena are thriving and developed metropolisis. There are great Caribbean beaches, things are cheap and the culture buzzes with a blend of colonial, African and modern. The FARC, wrongly or rightly have been largely blown to smithereens thanks to the helping hand proferred by the US military. Now there's is only the smallest chance of encounteting guerrillas on the main tourist trails. They are mostly confined to the deep amazon basin in the south east of the country. This blog is a record of our expenses in Colombia. Our budget for 2 people is $60 a day. On our first exchange at the border we got 1,950 Colombian Pesos to $1. The rate varied with exchages, often considerably lower than quoted on the web. I try to adjust daily budgets accordingly


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Ecuador Prices Part 2

November 5th 2009 21:10
Well we have completed the loop around South America and are back where we started, namely Buenos Aires. The weather is now much more clement. We are wearing flip flops but naturally the portenos are far too sophisticated for such casual foot wear. We took the tube from the bus station, called retiro, just before they went on strike. Somethings never change. However, the price for a dorm bed in Lime House Youth Hostel has gone up 3 pesos to 30 pesos per person.

The final part of our journey is to Patagonia, the end of the world as it is known around here. Already travellers have told us there is still ice on the roads. We did plan to camp in Patagonia but since we broke our tent in Iguazu Falls and the ice lingers in Patagonia we are changing our plans


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Peru and Ecuador Prices

October 17th 2009 21:17
Sorry for the big gap in time between posts - rumours of our demise have been grossly exaggerated: neither lost in the desert, nor rotting on a jail floor. Rather we have been hitting the buses, boats and planes hard to complete our journey over the continent in 6 months, the mother of all loops. Now we are in Salvadore, Brazil. It´s a tourist trap (literally since beyond the historical centre, the ´Pelo´ the streets are supposedly littered with fraught situations). Despite being a parody of itself, Salvadore has immense charm. At night samba bands parade up and down the cobbled roads, the bars serve up super strong capahrinas and the church of San Francisco is a masterpiece of wood with gold inlay.

As far as our budget has been concerned, we have managed fine until stopped dead in our tracks by the impenetrable barrier of Brazilian travel costs. It´s a massive country, nearly scaling the continent. To travel down from the Amazon to Salvadore has cost us hundreds of dollars. And we´re only half wayish to Rio. Luckily the credit card has rescued us from penury so far. Nevertheless, Brazil is great. The people, the beaches, the camping, the cheap cane spirits, the availabilty of good smoke all make Brazil one of my favourites. The other day we went to a beautiful white sand beach in Praia de Pipa. It was backed by pink bluffs that had no development beyond sun shades. In the calm blue waters dolphin could be seen swimming and catching fish. How good is that. Swimming in the warm sea with dophins; and stoned as well


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