Green Island"Make" is the Middle Word in Life
July 28th 2008 05:49
Jean Baudillard was right - Disney-fication wins the day
Obviously ‘keywords’ have spawned an irritating army of marketers looking to sell the masses rubbish by trying to zone into what the masses are surfing. My take is slightly different. Whereas the focus seems to be on nouns and key adjectives, I’ve looked at the dullest verbs in the English language that have hundreds of collocations. On 27th July 2008 I took ‘make’ and had a look at how people used the word in their search engines. The results are surprising and sad to say the least. So let me just give you the top 20 along with hit counts first and then I’ll go on to make some flippant comments.
1) 10616 hits – make your own doll
2) 6002 hits – simple ways to make methamphetamine
3) 3582 hits – father makes love to daughter
4) 3513 hits – make your own virtual pet
5) 3161 hits – make your own game
6) 2454 hits – how to make hair bows
7) 2122 hits – make a free printable resume
8) 1987 hits – make your own beats
9) 1789 hits – how to make a mojito
10) 1448 hits – plans to make a crossbow
11) 1347 hits – make money using paypal
12) 1333 hits – make meth easy recipe
13) 1321 hits – make a birthday card
14) 1316 hits – ingredients to make homemade ecstasy
15) 1285 hits – graduation cakes to make
16) 1150 hits – make bubble letters
17) 1128 hits – make money online
18) 1128 hits – make your own bridal bouquet
19) 1122 hits – I can make you thin
20) 1070 hits – how to make jello shots
Remarkable, isn’t it? This list makes us out to be sad, deranged, trivial and desperate to get high. I guess in this post-modern self-absorbed age it’s not surprising that number 1 was about the internet itself. “Dolls” or “dollz” are pictures or avatars (not incarnations of Hindu Gods) that people make (“dollars” or “dollists”) for them and others to look cooler then they really are. It’s cartoons over reality; all image; the need to brand yourself. Yes, we’ve stared into the waters of our own digital reflections for so long we’ve turned into beautiful vector graphic images with rocking tits and big manga eyes. I suspect this massive hit rate is also helped by a slew of free programs that let you dress up digital dolls – also “dolling” but also for young girls who have since Barbie and way before enjoyed dressing up figurines. So innocence and superficiality have combined to win the day.
Meth Nation
I don’t want to dwell on number 3 other than to say it’s not because of some breaking news story. Such stories crop up once in a while and make fantastic copy for the tabloid content providers. I did the same keyword search a couple of weeks ago and yes, the same massive hit count for just the same phrase appeared. Maybe there’s some harmless explanation I’m missing. If not then for God’s sake whoever you are start taking methamphetamines and fuck yourself up and leave your daughter alone.
Other entries are topical or seasonal. Schools out for summer and people have graduated (hence number 15) and are now looking for jobs (number 7) and also lots of people are having summer weddings (number 18) perhaps to have it outside to save money.
It pleases me to see music did well (number 8) but not as well as hair bows (number 6), but still making dance music is more appealing than learning how to make a weapon (number 10).
Naturally money features prominently (numbers 11 & 17) but much less than I would’ve imagined and surprisingly “make love” failed to make the top 20 (it got 797 hits, just ahead of “how to make LSD”). This immediately makes me think that the familiar adage that “sex sells” is perhaps old hat, perhaps it should be “perversion sells” or better still “homemade meths kits sell”; but not half as well as dolls, games and virtual pets.
So, that’s it. Dennis Hopper in one of his great drug fuelled on screen ad libs declared that ‘if’ was the middle word in life - well not in the 2008 it isn’t; but if you can keep your head about you while others are losing theirs to dollz, drugs and incest then you’re doing well.
(Both images taken from www.wikipedia.org)
| 51 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Anonymous
Maybe people are too busy making money and getting high in order to "make" something out of their life.